


Knockout

by brainoverdriving (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/brainoverdriving
Summary: The first hit was just to experiment; the second was the moment when he fell in love and the third was already addiction. The thing was – Sehun didn’t know if he spoke about the boxing or Jongin.





	Knockout

“Hey, hey, Jongin…slow down…” Sehun moaned despite himself and scratched Jongin’s shoulders so that he could get hold of himself.

“Sorry, fuck…Are you okay?” Jongin asked when he finally stilled inside Sehun, the latter didn’t want him to stop but he honestly wouldn’t be able to keep up with the pace Jongin had done. The overstimulation was too much, his dick was soft and red on his lower tummy, his thighs were wet from the lube and he could even feel it in between his buttocks. It was good, usually Sehun craved the hard fast sex one after another – the reason why he was going to Jongin because they knew each other, but now it was too much and at some point Sehun couldn’t take a decent amount of air in his lungs.

“Yeah, just…let me blow you I don’t think I can keep up with this.” Sehun pulled Jongin for a small and short kiss before he pushed his shoulders and wiggled his lower body so that he could show that he was serious.

“Nah, it’s okay. You need to rest and I’ll finish in the bathroom.” Jongin gave Sehun a small tight lipped smile and moved away from Sehun. The moment when Jongin slipped out from him, Sehun hissed and put his fists over his eyes. He didn’t want this, not now at least, he hadn’t seen Jongin for close to a month and even though they weren’t anything official except fuck buddies, he wanted to be with him for longer.

“When you’re done, want to watch movies and eat pizza? All on me, so yeah, do you want to?” Sehun asked when he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at Jongin who was taking off the condom he had on by the door.

“Sure thing, as long as you’re paying, I’m all yours.” Jongin winked and moved towards the bathroom and Sehun lied down heavily on his bed. 

After a few moments, Sehun moved around so that he could stand up and get some towel to wet it and clean the mess all over his body. Maybe he had to take a shower but his body was aching and he could feel his two almost broken ribs to show up and hurt like a bitch. His nose was stuck and Sehun hoped that if he tried blowing it, it wouldn’t be blood and not to mention that the back of his head was a living hell on its own and Sehun just couldn’t enjoy the sex. The first time for tonight when he let Jongin blow him and suck his tip for three minutes after he was done, everything was awesome. When Jongin asked to be fingered and Sehun was more than willing to do it on his knees and having his tongue inside Jongin was awesome too.

But from then on things went downhill and it was painful, his dick was soft and twitching and like really close to get hard because Sehun could feel the small burning inside him but he couldn’t get hard, yet he asked Jongin to fuck him. The moment the thrusting started and Jongin was his usual wild self in bed, biting, grabbing, pushing and kissing while thrusting and spreading Sehun enough to make him scream for Jongin to go even harder. Now, however, it was hell. He hadn’t spoken with Jongin about his match and how he lost because his opponent was bigger and stronger, he didn’t speak about how bad the guy was when it came to following the rules and the judges did nothing to stop him and Sehun couldn’t blame them. Sehun wasn’t supposed to be even there, not after he made a mess on the ring and despite the gloves, Sehun almost broke his hand.

The thing was that Jongin was no one close to Sehun except that they pretended to be friends. Even with the fucking here and there, even when Jongin was the first Sehun called after a match and Jongin was the only one Sehun fucked, they were not meant to be. If Sehun was in serious relationship with Jongin it meant that they’d try to destroy everything genuine they had. So keeping it low key as now was the best but with this Sehun couldn’t complain, he couldn’t say what was hurting him, how bad the boxing match went, how awful his training was going to be now because of this lost game and how many fractures he had and also Sehun had to skip the fact that he was going to be in the hospital for one week to do a check up because all his sponsors wanted him to be healthy and strong for the next season when he was going to be the winner.

What was worse than all of this was that Jongin never asked, he didn’t care and it was his request towards Sehun to keep the things as casual as they could. Jongin didn’t want a serious relationship and he wanted to play around and have his own fun, but still keep it with Sehun because Sehun was the first who took Jongin’s attention. Unfortunately, Sehun also took Jongin’s chances to pursue a career in the professional boxing and he was simply being here and there in some of the friendly meetings they had and Jongin was one of the best amateurs. 

“Fuck…” Sehun tried to lean down and take a towel when he felt something in his back to crack, for a moment he wondered if he could straighten up. He really needed to get to that hospital for a check-up because his body was already a wreck. Just when he was ready to get his towel, he felt something warm and wet on his back and he tensed before turning around to see Jongin, who just took a shower, holding a towel.

“Come on, I’ll order pizza and choose some movie, you clean yourself.” Sehun took the towel and chuckled. “We have a deal? Or do you want me to help you?

“Nah, go for it, if you order pineapple on my pizza, I’ll squeeze your dick.” Sehun yawned and turned around, hopefully his back didn’t betray him and opened his legs a little bit so that he could spread then enough and wipe the lube there.

“You scared me so much!” Jongin put a hand over his heart and gaped with his mouth, but then he laughed and winked at Sehun before going to grab his clothes and move towards the living room. Sehun didn’t miss how comfortable Jongin was in taking Sehun’s phone, typing down the PIN and then proceed with ordering the pizza.

Sehun chuckled and shook his head when Jongin winked at him and stuck his tongue out before he walked towards the kitchen – probably to grab some beer or something else to drink. Sehun was selfish at time, sometimes he wished to complain and ask for more and maybe do something which would bring Jongin by his side with the desire to stay for something more and ask for something more. However, he found this enough. Jongin liked spending time with Sehun and maybe using his money and pose for photos when some realized who Sehun was and recognized him. Jongin liked to bring new movies or his new pillow and move into Sehun’s bed for cuddles because maybe some of the other guys he was with didn’t want to cuddle him and Sehun never said yes. They were going on dates but they never called them dates because it was too official and they didn’t want this.

“Never fall for me, man, the only falling you can do is on your knees to get my dick in your mouth, but that is.” Jongin had said after their third hook up and Sehun laughed, almost choking.

“As you wish.” He replied but even then it was a lie. Even now when Jongin was asking if Sehun was interested in someone, Sehun was saying that he had no one. Too busy training, too busy counting calories and keeping his body good, too tired to look around and too many people knew him now so he couldn’t afford to fuck one of the fans and get all over the sport news as the reckless dude fucking around instead of working out and making sure he’d win. Jongin always took the answers with a hum and understanding, reminding Sehun that if he needed a fast fuck in the middle of the training, he could always call him. And Sehun always agreed, because he was going to do it even when he wasn’t told to do so.

“The pizza will be here in fifteen! Put some clothes and get your ass on the couch, I’m turning on Rocky!” Jongin shouted from the living room and Sehun couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“A fucking Rocky again, how addicted are you?” Sehun shouted back and found his sweatpants and t-shirt, with which he was before Jongin came to his flat and took them off. Before going to the living room, Sehun passed through the bathroom to put the towel in the laundry and rinse his mouth with a mouthwash because as much as he liked Jongin’s dick and his come, he didn’t like to eat his pizza with this taste inside his mouth.

Once he was out and ready, Jongin was already by the door with Sehun’s wallet in his hands paying for the pizza, three boxes, he was spoiling Sehun. Grabbing a few more beers, pulling Jongin closer once he had closed the door and both of them got comfortable on the couch. And once the movie was on and Sehun was ready to gulp down from his cold beer, when Jongin took the can away from his palm and gulped from it.

“What the fuck, Jongin?” Sehun hissed and glared.

“You shouldn’t be drinking, aren’t you on morphine or shit like this? You’re going die on me.” Sehun rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of his pizza.

“Don’t think, you’re not meant for it, now eat and watch your damn Rocky movie.” Sehun was already done, but he still leaned on Jongin and Jongin still moved his arm on Sehun’s shoulder and kissed his temple. It was so simple like this. Somewhere in the middle of the Rocky’s intro, Sehun’s mind drifted away and he put his head on Jongin’s shoulder.

It was funny how Sehun’s relationship with Jongin was almost the same as Sehun’s love for the boxing. It happened with three steps, three hits, three fights and three kisses. Sehun had never thought that he was going to have favorite number, but if there was one number he’d choose over others, it was going to be three. It had a nice ring to it, just like tree but better.

Sehun had never thought he’d make a name out of boxing or money and have the life he was having but it was nice and he couldn’t say he didn’t like it. Although he might die young because the injuries before and after he got into it like a profession were too much and he was getting more and more scared when he had to do his check-ups, but he still had at least fifteen more years in the business and then he might be a coach and help the kids who want to go pro, so he had many options.

The thing was he wasn’t always so keen on fighting and he had never been curious about the boxing or fist-fighting or whatever else was related to it. He was a nice kid, a very curious kid and when he was in high school he was in all the clubs, always studying, always asking for more. Back then Sehun wanted to have the life in his hands and know everything because he believed that if he knew everything, or close to everything, he’d be able to live his life to the fullest and no one said anything to him. They didn’t tell him that even if he knew everything if he didn’t know which way to go, he’d still be lost and he’d still be nowhere. But his parents weren’t the wisest and they didn’t speak with him a lot. But they were nice enough to tell him that he could do and study wherever he wishes to. Sehun thanked them because it was nice to know that the money weren’t a problem.

However, as every teenage guy at some point the violence became a thing. Sehun believed that not all of the guys were into it, some couldn’t even kill a fly, so Sehun didn’t want to generalize all of the guys, but majority of them were into it and Sehun wasn’t so different than them. He didn’t want to hurt anyone really but there were these bullies that were running on the thin line which was Sehun’s patience and in his senior year, a few weeks before the graduation Sehun gave his first punch to the biggest guy out of the bullies and the guy was knockout. Probably it was then when Sehun realized he had quite a lot of strong hands and he was quite good when it came to finding a target and hit it.

He was suspended for two weeks and was called back because he was one of their best students and he needed to be there. None of the bullies made a move and Sehun felt proud of himself. Maybe it wasn’t right to punch the dude and almost break his nose but he was still happy that the new kids wouldn’t get bullied. Or maybe he was too optimistic back then because when he was going to be out of school, someone else would be the new bully and Sehun wouldn’t be able to do anything. The important thing was that he was feeling happy and proud of himself, so he didn’t care about it for much longer.

Just like he didn’t care when once he was in his first year, studying law and got into a street fight. It was a few streets away from his university, on the darker side, in the middle of the night and Sehun was drunk and he was curious so he walked there. For the one year out of school, he had worked out, going to the local gym and he was hitting the punching bag, there was a guy who gave him advices here and there and Sehun was learning. Because he wanted to and he needed to feel stronger for some creepy kind of reason, he couldn’t name. 

The street fight was illegal, scary and everything was allowed. But the thrill was there, the adrenaline of not knowing what was going to happen, where to hit to survive, where to block a hit, how to move, how fight, how to survive, it was interesting and so Sehun signed up. He had to give his watch and a few bucks as a payment for his fight and he was more than willing to do it, even though he was broke and his watch from his grandmother. Back then, it didn’t matter. Even years later, it didn’t matter too.

This was the second fight in Sehun’s life and he could say that then it was his time falling in love. His first love and maybe his last, the second win, the second strong hit into the guy’s jaw, a few teeth were flying and blood was everywhere, but Sehun was the winner. He had one black eye, big bruise on his cheek, his knee was hurting him and he had small cut on his ribs when the guy tried to cut him with his pocket knife but Sehun was fast enough and broke the guy’s hand. There was no rule for him to stop and Sehun did what he thought it was right. That night when his fight was over and Sehun got more money than he gave but he couldn’t find his watch and he didn’t care, then he met his first sponsor. A guy, a few years older, a lot of money in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth, he said he was the one who’d make Sehun a boxing star.

Sehun believed him. It wasn’t because the guy screamed money and his cigarettes were bitter but so good and his voice was deep but so smooth. It was because the guy saw Sehun fight and he sounded so excited about it while speaking how and what Sehun did when he was hitting the guy. And Sehun believed him and this was how he almost quit university then. Although he moved to be a part time student, he was training, playing around in some boxing matches, winning and earning the look of many people, some sponsors, some new stars, some who wanted to push him on the ground. It was nice and Sehun liked it.

It was two years later, one year away from graduation, Sehun was once again one of the best in his major and university, but he was coming bruised in classes and was sleeping too much for anyone do anything about him, so he wasn’t into clubs, he wasn’t the face of anything and he wasn’t the professors’ favorite. But he didn’t mind, he was the best at training, he listened to his sponsor and he was following everything his coach was telling him to do.

The moment when Sehun realized that maybe this was addiction, something more than the simple love towards something he was doing, was one year later, just a week after his final exam in the university, already having his diploma prepared and if he only looked for a law firm, he was going to be the best lawyer in years. The only thing Sehun did was to take his diploma and then he put it in a drawer.

It was a very interesting realization. It was his first official match, still amateur but he was growing in the ladder. He realized he was addicted to the adrenaline; his blood was boiling with happiness when he heard the people’s shouts of his name and the most favorite was his hits – the chest, the jaw, the head or the hand – whatever he could catch. The way his opponent was getting tired – faster than him. The way the blood was all over him, he could feel it in his mouth, see it in his eyes, it was everywhere. However, even then he wasn’t sure what it was.

It was the end, when he won. The referee was holding his hand up, Sehun was with cut eyelids so that he could see, his nose was broken, his jaw was aching, one rib was almost broken and from what he knew he had concussion because the headache and the nausea were in the list too. But the crowd was happy, he was smiling and the lights were coming his way. His first win, his first step to the crown and Sehun loved every damn moment of it. Every win after that, every time his name got bigger, Sehun was still feeling the same way. The same pride and attraction towards the win, the same way he was feeling so happy that he was doing something like this. His heart was jumping his chest as if he had won the lottery and his sponsors were growing but the first one was always there, next to him, giving him water, praising him, hyping him up. They were a family – his first sponsor, his first coach, his first gym. Even when he was somewhere there, he was still coming back to them and they were still walking next to him.

This was his love story with the boxing, it was still the same even now when Sehun was twenty-seven and everyone were excited for him and Park Chanyeol who was a few steps behind him. Chanyeol was a good friend, they were training together and they were learning for each other. The thing was Sehun always tried to be better, the first, the best and the luck was still on his side.

The story about how Sehun fell in love with Jongin was very similar. It was the third street fight he had, his sponsor wanted to toughen him up, so he was back out on the streets. Then he met Jongin, the same age dude, slightly shorter but looking stronger and he was eager to win. And Jongin was good, really good. He had trained professionally, or so his sponsor said when they were assigned together. Unfortunately, Jongin’s ankle wasn’t good and he couldn’t push himself with the training so he stayed low.

Jongin was like the small spark that could grow to be a big fire. He was good, better than Sehun then but he had been playing too unfair. Jongin was hitting Sehun where his wounds were – sharp, fast and strong hits. It was when Sehun was spitting blood and he was barely standing up and his legs were shaking, he got fed up and kicked Jongin’s ankle. Both of them heard the crack, the cry which Jongin left and he was down on the ground, holding his ankle and curling into a ball. Sehun took his win then and walked away. That was how his first meeting with Jongin went.

The second was one week later when Sehun was walking out of his gym and Jongin was leaning on the opposite side, cigarette in his mouth and a cast on his ankle. Sehun greeted him and was ready to walk away when Jongin stopped him. He pushed his back from the wall and walked to Sehun, slow, a little bit wiggling and losing balance because of the cast, but his eyes were sharp and deep, he was determined to reach Sehun. It was on the tip of Sehun’s tongue to ask why Jongin was here and he was supposed to be in the hospital when Jongin threw away his cigarette, cleared his throat and grabbed Sehun’s head and kissed him. Of course, Sehun kissed back and pulled Jongin closer. Because he wouldn’t lose a fight and he couldn’t stop thinking about Jongin, the kiss was just like Jongin – fast, strong and heavy. And this was the first mistake, Sehun brought Jongin in his dorm and fucked him against the wall.

After this, they met a few more times but they didn’t speak and just fucked each other. One time Jongin was angry and when he asked Sehun if he was for the adventure and Sehun said yes, Jongin bend Sehun over a car, which belonged to a random stranger and fucked him over it, a hand over Sehun’s mouth and another on his dick not letting him come. After that night Sehun’s legs were aching and Jongin was giggling at the memory. They only fucked, but they didn’t kiss again. Jongin moved away when Sehun tried a few times and then he stopped. In fact, Jongin didn’t speak to him then – except if it wasn’t about their fucking.

It was after the tenth time when Jongin came to Sehun’s flat drunk and looking like a mess with messy hair, red eyes and broken lips too and he simply punched Sehun in the face before he started to speak. He spoke about how he wouldn’t be boxing anymore because his ankle was wrecked and it was Sehun’s fault too just as much as it was Jongin’s. He spoke about how much he wanted to go pro, how much he wanted to be someone and how now he wasn’t sure if he could do anything. And Sehun kissed him then, because he wanted Jongin to shut up, because his heart broke while he listened how Jongin’s voice was breaking and he kissed him because he wanted to feel his lips against his and feel the dried blood. It was all because Jongin spoke with him and maybe then Sehun fell in love.

Sehun realized he liked Jongin’s voice. When he was drunk and was slurring the words and when he was excited and spoke with higher pitch than his usual, Sehun liked it when it was breaking when Sehun was inside him but he especially loved it when Jongin made his voice lower against his ears and whispered him things which would make Sehun shiver. He loved this, he loved Jongin and he was slowly breaking his own heart. The funny thing after Jongin’s breakdown and Sehun’s realization about his love life, Jongin was always around him, making sure he ate, he drank, he didn’t smoke, he didn’t get too much alcohol, that he took his exams, that he was showering and that Sehun was alive after his exam sessions.

Soon Jongin was a permanent place in Sehun’s life and his heart. The hooks up stayed and sometimes they were too much but sometimes it was only about cuddling and Jongin speaking about the guys he had a crush on and sometimes he was coming to Sehun and asked for a fuck because he simply couldn’t get it from the crush and Sehun did it because he wanted to. Not to please Jongin, no, he did it because he wanted to hurt him and it usually end up Jongin going home with bruises. It was nice, Jongin always forgave him. But he didn’t have what to forgive, they weren’t together and Jongin was always asking for more, just like Sehun was doing.

Hiding his feelings for Jongin was easier than Sehun thought. He thought he’d be jealous and that he’d make scenes and push Jongin away but it never happened. No matter whom Jongin was kissing and with whom he fucked, he was always coming back to Sehun. There were kisses and crying and sex, but it was always Sehun and Jongin. The best fuck buddies someone wanted to have in their lives. Jongin never questioned why Sehun didn’t fuck anyone else and Sehun was glad. Even when there was this guy who was like the love of Jongin’s life, with him in their lives Jongin never kissed or fucked with Sehun but he wanted cuddles and small dates here and there. Jongin usually said it was because Sehun needed the distraction but Sehun wished to believe that it was because Jongin missed him.

Sometimes Sehun made sure that he and Jongin would train together. Jongin was happy then, very happy and glad for being out there fighting and punching. Sehun was happy too. Sometimes the coach would speak with Sehun about Jongin and mentioned how maybe he’d make the kid a coach too but Jongin never stayed in one place. When Sehun mentioned it to Jongin, the latter shook his head, smiled sadly and said that he was studying finances and that he’d find a stable job in a company and now this was his dream. This time Sehun didn’t have the heart to take his dream away once again.

And when did Sehun realized that he was addicted to Jongin? He couldn’t say but he knew, he kissed him before his game and he knew it. He made love to Jongin when he won and he knew it then too. He knew it before and after Jongin came to his flat with a lot of beer and a few of their friends to celebrate when Sehun’s name was on the sport magazine and he had his first interview. Sehun knew it when Jongin graduated from the university and he patted Sehun’s back as if they were best buddies and then he went to his current boyfriend. Sehun knew it when he almost fucked a random girl after his game and she told him he’s hot but he shouldn’t do it because he was trembling and he let her go.

Chanyeol had asked him about Jongin and who he was to Sehun. Sehun said he was a friend and Chanyeol laughed into his face. It was funny. Were they really friends? Fuck buddies, doing all the fucking but barely the actual friendship which was going with the name and this wasn’t the best thing ever but Sehun liked it. Boyfriends, it didn’t suit them and Jongin probably would never agree. He might walk away from Sehun’s life just as fast as he came into it and Sehun thought he might say he didn’t care but he wasn’t ready to try his luck either.

“You’ll come around each other but it might take too much time though.” Chanyeol said and gave Sehun a beer. They were alone in the gym and Chanyeol had brought the beer, it was warm and awful but neither of them had it for months and they missed the taste.

Sehun got drunk after his third beer and leaned down to kiss Chanyeol, he got kissed back but he felt nothing. And Chanyeol didn’t feel anything too because he wiped his lips after the kiss and laughed. They never repeated it again and Sehun had never told Jongin because he thought it was unneeded. When Jongin found out, he simply laughed and patted his back with the words of how proud he was that Sehun tried to get laid with someone else and failed.

It was often for Sehun to ask himself if he had to choose Jongin or the boxing which one he’d choose and he couldn’t answer. Even though he knew there should be only one answer and this had to be the boxing because Jongin was in his life for long time but no one knew for how long he’d stay, Sehun still couldn’t say anything about it and he couldn’t do anything about his heart either.

If someone asked Sehun about the loves in his life, he’d say: the boxing was his first love, the one which took his breath away and gave him butterflies in his stomach for the first time, and the last one, which would take his last breath and his last fight and his last piece of life; and Jongin was the love in between, coming in waves – sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker, but always there just like the waves which the sea and the ocean had.

If someone asked Sehun if he regretted to give his heart to these two simple things – one a career which might bring his life to sooner end but enough money in his account, the other a person who was in denial and maybe he’d never love him back – Sehun’s answer would be forever: ‘no, I do not regret it.’

Even now when Sehun was taking a small nap on Jongin’s shoulder and had circled his arms around his middle, feeling warm and safe, Sehun knew he’d never give this to anyone or for anyone, anything else. He felt Jongin’s lips on his forehead and how he brushed his nose on it after the kiss, how he hummed and then turned off the TV. He shook Sehun gently to wake him up and when Sehun moved his head, Jongin kissed him – slow and lovely, just like Sehun liked it.

“Want to get some sleep?” Jongin asked quietly and kissed Sehun’s nose before putting his cheek on Sehun’s forehead and humming, waiting for the answer.

“Only if you answer me something,” Jongin hummed. “If you had a chance to fall in love with someone or spend your life with someone, only one person, who are you going to choose?” Sehun knew it was bold question and maybe tomorrow he wouldn’t see Jongin again, no matter what the answer was, but for now he needed it. Because his love was still burning and he was still belonging to Jongin but he needed the small spark to make his fire bigger or the heavy foot to step on it and kill it. It was in Jongin’s hand.

“If it should be only one, then it’s going to be you.” Jongin said quietly and kissed the top of Sehun’s head. “Come on, let’s get you to bed. Tomorrow you need to go to the hospital.”

“A little bit cuddling before going home?” Sehun asked sleepily when he was already on his feet and going towards his bedroom, Jongin’s hands on his shoulders.

“Who said anything about going?”


End file.
